about 3 years ago
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With Mother’s Day approaching, this year will be very different for many of us, with so many not being able to see their mums, it made me reflect and I thought I would take this opportunity to write about my experience of being a working mother.
This past year especially has probably been one of the biggest challenges any working mum has faced in their career to date, that of homeschooling, or working alongside older children living at home, keeping the house in order, preparing meals, and or generally trying to keep everything running smoothly yet still expected to be on your A-game whilst working either full or part-time.
Most working mothers know that that being a mum is one of the hardest jobs of all no job description, long hours, few holiday breaks, 0 salary, no reviews, yet as we all know there are lots of benefits as I am sure we all love our children to bits. Lots of women nowadays choose to work, they want to have a career, but some have no choice and have to work for financial reasons, whatever your situation we all face similar challenges.
A working mum often faces the guilt factor, when we are working we think should we be with our kids, should I be the one dropping them off, picking them, up, arranging playdates, doing their homework with them after school, is it right that the childminder, nanny, or family member is doing it, shouldn’t it be me?
If we take time off to be with our kids and try and do some of those things and fit them around our work then are we often thinking about work, a deadline, or an upcoming meeting we have as we are rushing out of the house to get the kids to school early so we can then get to work, only to realise when you are nearly at the school gates that you have left their spelling book on the side, or forgotten their library book, PE kit or heaven forbid Packed lunch –things that seemed so important at the time when you reflect they don’t matter that much, your child still survives the day, was it worth the worry, the anxiety, feeling like you were failing as a mum because you were thinking of work?
I have been a working mum for nearly 27 years now. I have 2 wonderful daughters who are successful young women in their own right , they both have fantastic careers in PR and marketing and running their own businesses.
Do they remember if I forgot something, no not really, I made sure I was there for all the important events at school, assembly, sports day, parents evening, etc. What they do remember was knowing that their mum was happy and she worked they were and still are proud of me. They grew up seeing their mum trying to make motherhood work. I think they have become who they are today because of my career.
They became outgoing and confident, have great interpersonal and social skills, as they had to get used to being with different carers, they can both spell, they didn’t become professional sportswomen, but I don’t think that has anything to do with the fact that I forgot their PE kit on numerous occasions!
So with Mothers day approaching I want to give a big shout out to all working mums, like me whose children have grown up and turned out ok, well done, give your self some credit, you should be proud of being a working mum, we may not have had to homeschool through a global pandemic, but we faced our own challenges, remember years ago there was no google, no internet, we didn’t have computers, wow how did we manage, but we did.
To all working mothers with children in school at the moment, you still have a way to go, but my advice is to try not to worry if you don’t get something right don’t ever feel guilty about being a working mum, your children will see you as a role model, and trust me they grow up, they leave you, they don’t need you as much, but remember you are still you, you will need or want to be independent and your career is who you are. If you take the right approach and have a positive outlook you can make motherhood work.
Happy Mothers Day to all the mums out there